In re: :)

[scottopic]

"Yes, perhaps it's true we can't 'live' without a job--although I hope we're grown-up enough to know the difference between life & the accumulation of a bunch of fucking gadgets."

This is just a platform, for now, to accomplish the things I want. I can even craft things that I enjoy and appreciate out of it, I can even feel passionate about aspects, but it's not life.

The one I regard as the most important aspect of it all returns to me in two days on wings from a long and stressful absence, but even she is not life, however much of being she fills.

Just recently, I was talking with someone close to me I've known most of my life, and it was just a normal conversation, but I saw behind the insecurities, history, baggage, confusion, love, respect, fear and angst...and I saw the person, for maybe the first time. No real reason for the timing in an immediate sense, but it was like the scene when Dorothy opens the door into Oz. I'd talked about many important things with her before, loved her and respected her, but this was the first time really seeing. I don't know if I'm explaining it.

It's all been much like the Being Aware of Your Awareness trick, or the twist of being a node in a moving Universe as suggested by Horselover Fat, this past month. It's been incredibly slow, but on the other hand, it's felt like time-passing-as-time, not the artificial truncation of perception looking back to university years, but a day was a day, a second was a second. Even in absence, that has to be appreciated. While I want it to be Wednesday evening already, it'll be here in the time as it should be, and everything will be in its right place in its time. Continue onward for as long as there is time.

"Of course one must go on "making a living" somehow-- but the essential thing is to make a life." -Hakim Bey

Comments

[danuv.livejournal.com]

So what is life for you? Or is it something that can't be defined?

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

In a way, it's the substance of all of our connections and doings, and equally the mover behind that, underneath (but also including) all the masks. This is a description, but only in the sense that a map of Pittsburgh describes the entire universe.

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

You? :)

[danuv.livejournal.com]

I think you did a pretty good job. I've actually been thinking a lot about my sense of self, what makes me me and really I suppose it comes pretty close to what my life is. Just a big tangle of experiences, desires, hopes, people, the vision other people have of me, the me I feel inside the spiritual streams I sometimes cross... I see a lot of women who define themselves in relation to their children. The kind of women who would use a screen name like Bobsmom54 or Momto7cuties and while I understand the impulse because my kids are a very important part of my life, they don't define who I am. Nothing really defines who I am and nothing really can define my life I guess. I'm still struggling with figuring out the direction I want it to take but I reckon we all do and while we struggle to figure that out it just moves on. /babble

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

I think you're right on all counts.
To go with geographical metaphors again, the CHILD thing is, of course, important, takes up much of your time, thought and energy and is a feature, but one is not simply a mom, anymore than one could say that Spain is only defined as "next to France."

[morbid-o.livejournal.com]

In a recent job interview, they asked "What motivates you?"

I think my less-than-eloquent answer (as interview answers should be, of course) tried to express something similar. It was perhaps a polite way of saying "Not my 9 to 5, thank goodness"

[servingdonuts.livejournal.com]

Mmmm... wisdom. Tasty. Good for breakfast.

I'm lucky if I can be Aware. Being Aware of my Awareness is rare... does this mean I'm now Aware of Rareness of my Awareness?

Enjoy the time until Wednesday!